Centering Thought: Whenever I begin to feel “unsuccessful,” I can examine the goals I have personally chosen for myself to see where I can follow steps to the path of my own chosen success model. My personal definition of success is the most important definition to me.
How do we define success? While the definition is surely individual to the person, we know there are certain social standards we adhere to——culturally, traditionally … or even in our families.
Our success, therefore, is also measured in more than one way each time we examine it.
Perhaps we grow up in a community or religious group that expects us to “join contributing society” in specific ways, such as having a family, a paying job, a home, etcetera. If we lack any one of those things——or are told those aren’t options for us in the way that we want——does that make us “total failures”?
One of the most important measures of our own, individual success is the way we feel about ourselves. Some of us can meet all the outward hallmarks and even present the “perfect” image to our communities or on social media while still feeling unhappy or incomplete inside. We can develop a form of imposter syndrome that makes us feel that we are secretly unsuccessful, thinking, “If people only knew the real me, they would know that I am faking it.”
Setting and attaining personal goals is a key piece of the success formula. And having the agency to decide what those goals are——in total or in large part (such as at work or with our life partners)——is integral to mastering a more holistic type of success, where we can feel good about ourselves inside and be accepted by our chosen communities or groups, as well.