Tuesday Tools content is typically for paid subscribers. This post is a free preview of the full content. It comes from Coach Kiki’s forthcoming book 365 Days of Mood Tools.
Centering Thought: Shifting my physical state is one way I make subtle shifts in my mental state to find other outside resources. I can choose to practice smiling at any moment to notice what effect it has on my mental state, my moods and my environment.
Sometimes it’s hard to smile.
We can be told to put our “chin up” and “act as if” or “fake it ‘til you make it,” but these sentiments can be one more disappointment when we just don’t feel like smiling for whatever reason. Particularly if we are prone to stuffing, numbing or avoiding our feelings (until they burst forth and demand our attention, usually through behaviors that embarrass us), we may even have some resentment when others tell us these types of pat-sounding platitudes well-meaningly.
When we use our tools to assess our feelings—from the BMT Index™ to meditation to any other mood identifier—we can get to the root source of why it’s not so easy to smile at any given moment. And when we remember that all feelings come and go, we can decide (if we choose) to let them pass.
We can also make other decisions: Is my behavior at this time appropriate for the situation or environment at hand? Do I have time to deeply experience my feelings right now as part of the act of processing them? Are there other emotions under these feelings that I also want to explore? Do I trust the people around me to help me through this or to give me the space I need to do it on my own? If not, is there a better time or another person/people I can reach out to later?
Asking these types of questions can lead us into more self-awareness—not just of our emotions and their root sources, but also of how our moods fit into or do not fit into our present surroundings.
If we choose to move into a more positive state, like happiness, confidence, empowerment, etc., we can use the act of smiling on the outside to shift the way we feel on the inside. It can be our personal choice.
The act of smiling has been reported to trigger neurochemical responses in the brain connected with these positive mental states. While smiling by itself is not a cure for depression, the act of smiling can equate to using a power posture (like squaring our shoulders or putting our head up—which is exactly where the phrase “chin up!” comes from). When we shift our body subtly but intentionally, we gain some small control over how our mind and body respond to our present life circumstances.
Smiles are often contagious, too. Studies have linked smiling faces, even when unseen as during a traditional phone call, to more cheerful, friendlier-sounding voices or faces that breed feelings of connection.