Centering Thought: Rejection is a normal part of the human experience that each and every human being experiences repeatedly throughout their lifetimes. I am not unique. Though the rejection I receive is personal, I will always find groups and individuals who accept me, because that is part of the human experience, as well.
What does emotional rejection look like for us? This experience is deeply personal and can happen in many ways, both overtly and subtly. But the universal piece of rejection is that we do not like it.
The act of being rejected goes against our human survival needs: Acceptance into communities and groups is one of the primary ways that we meet our survival needs, since humans are social animals who thrive in groups better than alone. Even if we are introverted, we likely have one or more trusted individuals that we prefer to spend at least a little of our time with together.
But being rejected—and also the act of rejecting others——is a natural part of the human experience, as well. Setting boundaries, connecting with like-minded others to meet goals or create communities, learning, exploring and achieving: All are earned even better and faster with partnerships; breaching others’ boundaries or missing their marks are also ways that we learn. Ergo, inviting others into our group folds or rejecting them from our ranks are natural parts of learning together in our human lifetimes.
Understanding that rejection is a universal experience that happens to all people in one form or another can help us to personalize the experience less whenever it happens to us.
We can also survive this negative-but-needed human experience called rejection by recalling other times it has happened to us and remembering what helped us to manage our feelings then or what or whom we turned to, to help us through previously. Even when our current circumstances are different—and even when our prior experiences of rejection felt insurmountable——we can remind ourselves that we have joined other groups (jobs, neighborhoods, families and more all count), and that we are still here to experience rejection——and its inevitable counterpart, acceptance——for another day.