I could NOT sleep last night ...

Mindful Mondays.

It’s the 4am hour, & I have insomnia.

In some ways, insomnia has been a private friend who visits me alone, away from the rest of the world. I see her as a little girl, an un-gendered child, an imp or a changeling or a demon at any given moment. In a way, insomnia is both a fool & a trickster.

And I know this:

Insomnia is not my friend, but has yet been a lifelong companion.

Sleep is a struggle for a lot of people. This hit me full-force yesterday when I saw a graphic image someone else made that really made me stop & think:

“Ooh,” I thought so clearly when I read this that I almost said it out loud. “That’s a really good distinction.”

Then I did laugh aloud when I read the rest of the group text message: This image is quoting me!

Have you ever been so close to something that you lose your perspective?

Stop & think for a second on the answer to that question. What comes up for you?

If you are practicing mindfulness in your life, but aren’t ready to pay subscription fees for this newsletter, consider helping us both out & visiting one of my affiliate sites to find tools to help you learn about & regulate your own emotions; share tools that you know work with the ones you support; gift items to your kiddos or their families. Check out journals (& much more!) at Big Life Journal. Create your own Calm Down Corner (& so much more!) at Generation Mindful. Get custom weighted blankets & plushies through SensaCalm.

I’m so sleepy as I type this that I am losing the thread. … And that is a sure sign that insomnia has played itself out, is once again retreating to its hidden corners of the world——under beds, around corners, inside closets & all of the other darkened places where the Boogeyman & his little family of children await to surprise us. Maybe it’s slipping out to your bedroom now …?

But don’t worry: This, too, shall pass.

In the throes of insomnia, the sentence above can feel pat, unhelpful, even condescending. You may hate hearing it from others——along with other phrases, like:

“Oh, well, it is what it is.”

“C’est la vie.”

“Feelings come & feelings go.”

But, wait, that last one is mine, too. And, yes, it may be right up there in the same category as the other quotes: helpful to some, harmful-seeming to anyone when used dismissively or in any weaponized fashion (as even our best intentions can be sometimes).

What typically helps my own insomnia pass is often just as basic: simply letting it be heard.

Like any little child who is acting out (“Your child is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time,” says one of my favorite parenting guides, Dr. Becky Kennedy at the Good Inside parenting community, go-to expert on “Deeply Feeling Kids”——whose words inspire me, even as I sometimes argue with & rebel against them in my own moments of short-sightedness), my insomnia often just needs to be seen, heard, felt & acknowledged: “Yes, I see you there. Your needs are valid. What would you like to tell me?”

(Our kittens have always loved weighted blankets, too! They are great at adding their own fuzzy weight to this sensory tool.)

It turns out, I learned from listening tonight, that I’m thinking about all of the things I need to pack for my vacation.

I’d really love to take my weighted blanket. One downside is that, because it’s customized to making my grownup body feel just the right amount of deep pressure (that’s wonderful for post-hiking relaxation OR GETTING BACK TO SLEEP DURING INSOMNIA), it’s a lot of added weight in the back of the minivan when you’re driving through the mountains. Luckily, I got smaller versions for my kiddos, so we can all compromise.

SensaCalm, the brand I love, has also created these travel versions … that I just may have to try for myself.

For now, here’s one thing I know:

Sometimes insomnia taps you on the shoulder & asks you to turn around & see your troubles from a different perspective. The moment I receive the message, is the moment I am plagued no more.

Journaling, meditating, sitting in silence or any other form of listening is what works best for me in those moments. And then … I can drift gently back to sleep whenever my body——& that playful little imp of insomnia——is ready to return home & rest.

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash